Lost in Translation
by Averon
Summary: There has been a terrible accident... And somehow Kuwabara's been trapped... In his closet... And Hiei's sent to his rescue... Misunderstanding runs rampent. Light HieiKurama, as usual.


Heyla. Another story delivered from the pits of HEL (my school's initials). I got bored one day and expanded on an idea me and my brother had. I'll give more of an explanation to how this peice came to be at the end. For the moment, just remeber that if I owned Yu Yu Hakusho, Hiei would be the main character, KuramaxHiei would be an established pairing (with plently of kissing, at least, as proof), and Kuwabara would have been murdered mysteriously in episode 1.

Pairings - Established Kurama x Hiei, shonenai

Warnings - Slight shonenai (as always) and some slightly (of maybe not so slightly) sexual language, as well as some Kuwabara bashing, and somethings that could be taken as Hiei bashing, though this was not intended.

**Lost in Translation**

This was the strangest mission Hiei had ever heard of. Okay, fine, it was beyond that. It was absurd. Someone had locked Kuwabara in a small storage room that the fox called a closet, and somehow it had been decided by some 'unknown' entity that Hiei was going to be the one to get him out.

Koenma was going to die.

He would already have been dead if Kurama hadn't been there to stop him. _Hn. Stupid Fox_. Unbeknownst to the fire demon, the Kitsune had him securely wrapped around his little finger, and he wasn't going to let him go any time soon.

"It won't be so bad, Hiei, it's just a small errand. Promise me you'll be good." The red head spoke carefully; the hatred between the two was near legendary. If Kuwabara did anything foolish before the Fox joined them, he would probably be incinerated.

"Hn." the fire demon agreed, but in his mind, the fool was already as good as burned.

"Hiei, that's not nice. I have to go help my mother, she's decided to clean house today. I'll come help you later if you need it." With that, the fox demon kissed the Jaganshi's cheek and rushed off.

Hiei stood still for a moment, shocked beyond words. _How the hell did he know I was going to blow up the closet…?_ Shaking his head, the short demon flitted off to the location the fool was supposedly entrapped in.

Not much to his surprise, Kuwabara had somehow been trapped, unable to escape, in his _own_ closet. This was just pathetic. _I am **not** going to just open the damned door. He's not **that** weak, he can knock down the door himself. Maybe then I won't have to listen to him gush at the immorality of having **me** rescue him from himself._ Now that a plan of action had been determined, Hiei set to work. He took his parole seriously, his actions reflected upon Kurama after all, so even if he didn't follow the _spirit_ of the command, the results would be just as concrete. _The ends do justify the means, after all._ A slight smirk graced his lips before he sighed and took action.

"Baka, what are you doing in there." Hiei deadpanned. Questions were for weaklings.

There was the sound of someone jumping up and hitting their head on a shelf before a muffled shout cracked through the air. "I'm stuck! What does it look like, shrimp!"

Having surveyed the room before hand, Hiei had noticed a rubber duck with a somewhat demented (in his opinion) smile on its beak wearing a sombrero. It reminded him of some of the… creepier lower class demons that inhabited the Makai, and though they had never bothered him much (having died in the first .5 second of meeting him), he doubted the fool could take them.

"Hiding from a duck." It was the only logical explanation in his mind.

Again, there was the thud of bone on wood and a muttered curse before a reply. "How the hell did you come up with that? I thought you didn't have a sense of humor! What kind of stupid joke was that!"

"I wasn't joking…" Hiei muttered under his breath, but decided not to voice his opinion. Apparently, ningens weren't familiar with the Makai ducks and it would be viewed as 'stupid'. He would not degrade himself to being laughed at by the fool.

"What was that? I didn't hear you!" The disembodied voice of an idiot shot through the door and Hiei's eardrums, leaving them both scarred for eternity. _Maybe I should just **leave **him here. It's not as if anyone would care…_ But still, a mission was a mission, and a promise was a promise, he had sworn to the Fox that he wouldn't act rashly.

"I said, it's a shame this world was cursed incompetent _idiots_ such as yourself, who have to be let out of the closet in their own bedrooms."

Once more, there was the distinct thud the Jaganshi was beginning to love (maybe he'd knock himself out and make this mission less…. embarrassing for both of them) and a mad sputtering from behind the door. "W-what's THAT supposed to mean!"

Now, Hiei was confused. So, true to form, he became snappish and took his annoyance out on the nearest target. The duck. The rubber sizzled deliciously when being devoured by flames, and began to whistle as the hat flaked into little black ashes and drifted to the floor. Finally, Hiei could reply without being sent back to prison.

"What does it _sound_ like?" His voice dipped in sarcasm through clenched teeth as he searched for another object to burn.

The fire demon assumed the fool had finally stopped sitting down, because this time there was a different crash of a back being slammed against a wall. "JESUS CHRIST! Is THAT what you did in prison!"

The chair was the next to die. Hiei didn't take kindly to being confused, and the worse he felt, the larger the target for his rage. The flames licked at the wood hungrily before completely consuming it. Again, Hiei watched the flames with distinct satisfaction before answering the cause of his unending torture.

"What the _hell_ are you talking about, fool? Get out here _now_ so I can finish what I came here for."

Mind you, Hiei thought he had said something that made perfect sense as well as being crystal clear. Then again, some things are lost in translation, especially from a Makai being. Take the duck for example…

There was a whimpering in the closet and the sound of hangers moving across the bar. It seemed almost suspiciously like the fool was trying to hide himself. "Go away, you sick freak! Leave me alone!"

This was becoming _very_ disconcerting. Every word that left Hiei's mouth seemed to provoke the fool to be… more foolish? Nothing was adding up, and Kuwabara was fast losing furniture. Hiei even smiled slightly as the flames danced through the desk, taking minimal amounts of his stress with it.

"You can't stay in there forever. Come out here, _now_... Don't make me start on your bed." He added the last as an after thought. He didn't particularly _care_ if he destroyed all of Kuwabara's furniture, but he was afraid the Fox would refer to this as 'misbehaving'. It would really be a shame to get in trouble for something besides _killing_, which he fully intended to do once the idiot came out of the closet.

The results of his words were, this time, instantaneous. The words didn't even sound muffled by the three inches of English oak in the way. "HOLY SHIT! GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY ROOM, YOU PERVERT!"

Apparently, Kurama hadfinally arrived,heard Kuwabara's response, and _somehow_ (Enma only knows) realized what was going on. The red head flew into the room and quickly wrapped his arms around the shorter demon's waist, grabbing his left arm just to make sure he wouldn't destroy anything else.

"Shh, Hiei, it's alright." He hurriedly tried to sooth the fire demons quick temper and surveyed the damage. Apparently, this fight had been going on for a while now.

Hiei, ever the single minded, and overly blunt, individual, pulled away from his lover to glare harder at the door and ask a question under his breath. "What does he _mean_!"

Sighing, Kurama once more hugged the Jaganshi from behind, though more as a restraint then anything else, and whispered a hurried explanation in his ear. At first, Hiei looked puzzled. Then, his eyes widened and turned to slits in rapid succession. Once again pulling away from the Fox he took an aggressive step towards the door.

"I wouldn't _touch_ you with a _10 foot pole!_" He shouted at the door, smoke gently rising from the floor around him where the carpet ignited with his anger.

"THEN DON'T COME NEAR ME WITH YOURS!"

A feral snarl came from his throat as the wards covering his left arm quickly unraveled and began to burn. The air in the room was becoming unbearably hot and the paint on the walls was flaking. Again, Hiei was grabbed from behind and restrained.

"Hiei, no! You can't do that to him!" There was fire in the red heads eyes that strictly told the fire demon killing was off limits, but a terrified whimper from the closet set his rage on edge once more. He, once again, pulled away from the green eyed Fox, but this time turned to face him, squaring his shoulders.

"He has insulted my honor! I _demand_ satisfaction!" There was a blood curdling scream before silence and the familiar sound of a body hitting the floor. Hiei blinked and stared at the door as if it was crazy, once again oblivious to what he had said. Groaning, Kurama sank to the floor and rubbed his temples.

"Hiei, just unlock the door…."

-

That was terrible, wasn't it? I couldn't help myself. Humor's usually only my style when I'm making up stories off the top of my head and telling my friends out loud...

Anyway, the promised explanation, me and my brother were throwing around quotes. You know, the normal (for my house anyway) break in whatever twisted form of a slowly disappearing rivalry we have and started talking about truely inane topics. We thought of various ways to incorperate famous, or not so famous, quotes into Yu Yu Hakusho fics, among others. We were having a blast. So then, we had the quote "Free at last, free at last, thank God Almighty, we (I) am free at last!" in the conversation. I busted up laughing. I had the strangest picture of Kuwabara comeing out of a closet and screaming it at the top of his lungs...

Of course, as you can see, things didn't go quite according to plan. Instead of going the way I wanted it to origanally, it ended up like this with the quote "I demand satisfaction!" C'est la vie.

Please forgive any spelling mistakes in the authors notes... I kinda forgot to write them, so I had to add them in the quick edit thing...

Later

Averon


End file.
